I am learning to be lost. For most of my life, I have prided myself on being smart, on knowing. I skipped kindergarten because I knew my letter people. I did well on tests and got scholarships. I won awards for being smart. I think of myself as a quick study, who can navigate a place, situation, even people with ease to get where or what I want. So, I am practicing not knowing. I am practicing embracing being lost. And of course, Europe provides lots of opportunities. Now that we have a little car (Renault Wind Coupe Convertible) with maps by country (mostly not detailed enough to navigate many of the major cities) and street signs we mostly cannot read, we find ourselves triangulating directions at best. And generally we find our way. It is probably not the quickest way, but who cares.
We spent two days in Amsterdam before the cold and rain chased us from a wet tent at Het Amterdamse Bos campground in Amstelveen to a warm house where our friend Nancie is staying in Hamburg, Germany. I have now been to Amsterdam twice and cannot explain it. I know the city is designed in the shape of an amphitheater with Central Station occupying center stage. Canals and streets go out from there to form aisles and rows. And the major museums occupy the place the sound booth often is in the middle of the audience, half way toward the back of the seats from the stage. And I know a lot of English is spoken there, far more than in Paris. But that’s about all I know. You can find some of the best marijuana anywhere for sale in coffee shops across the city. But, somehow, you cannot buy alcohol in the same place you can buy marijuana. And magic mushroom shops dot the landscape. As far as I can tell from the pamphlet, they sell “truffles” which are the psychedelic mushroom roots, but not the mushrooms themselves, which somehow makes them legal under the Opium Laws. Mostly, I don’t know what the laws are in each country, and hope they are similar to America and follow some sort of common sense. So, we tried a bit of everything, along with some French fries with mayonnaise and the ever-present doner kabob stands. And it was an adventure, sometimes fun, often confusing. It didn’t make sense in any way I am used to, but I think it is good to be lost. And with some psychedelic assistance, Amsterdam made some impressions on me, but mostly I made my impressions of Amsterdam, and this is a sampling of them.
I am scared of Amsterdam. It is a place where marijuana and psychedelic mushrooms and prostitution are legal and a major part of the economy (so far as I can tell). It is like I have a dark side that is at risk of being unleashed if I stay in Amsterdam too long. I will get lost and stuck and never leave. I will be high and working my life away in a coffee shop selling weed to pay for my habits or pay off my debts. There was a coffee shop there which was designed like a jail, and it felt like it was a jail veiled like a coffee shop. And in my hallucinations, beautiful women lead high men into the back room where there is a series of dungeons. The guys end up broke and never find their way home. And it is all like an M.C. Escher painting, where the entrance is the exit is the entrance. When you go up to the top of the stairs you end up at the bottom, so you can never find your way out. Fortunately, I just needed to hold Annette’s hand and she led me to the entrance, which was a door that seemed to me to move every time you head in its direction. Upon reflection, Amsterdam must be Wonderland, perhaps making me little Alice.
And along the trip in Amsterdam with my minds thoughts magnified, I figured a couple of things out. 1. Stop trying to figure things out. Get out of my head and enjoy the moment. 2. Being an overly careful or fearful traveler gets in the way of good travel. Use common sense precautions, but not everybody is out to take my stuff. 3. Follow your wife. Even if she gets us lost, it beats the alternative (me getting us lost and/or her being unhappy). 4. Getting lost is good sometimes. It leads to growth and new experiences and it makes getting found even better).
So, in the rain and cold yesterday afternoon, we headed for Hamburg. I expect we will be here for a while.
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