Parenthood

One of our purposes for this trip is to figure out how we want to live the next phase of our lives (after this trip). I think it is healthy to periodically throw out the answers we have found to life's big questions and start again. The great Zen master D.T. Suzuki wrote a book maybe sixty years ago about the jewel of maintaining a "beginner's mind." The beginner's mind knows nothing for sure and explores everything as if for the first time. The questions are of much greater value than the answers, which often end the exploration. These last few days we have gotten to hang out with some of the greatest Zen masters of our time, young children. We are interested in living a balanced and happy life. For me, this includes room to travel, the outdoors, family and friends, healthy diet and exercise, as we look to the next phase of our lives. We have already told (and been told by) many that we expect the next phase upon completion of our trip to include some little Zen masters of our own. We also want meaningful and fulfilling work that contributes to a more just and humane society without sacrifing our own health or happiness in the process.

As we meet people along our journey, we will undoubtedly find countless expressions of similar commitments in the world in very different lifestyles and places. This past week has been immersed in family in Columbia, Missouri and then Colorado. We spent the better part of the week with the Johnson family. Ebony is a high school friend of Annette's. Her fourth child is expected to arrive any day now. Her husband, Alfred, is fortunately on the first week of a two-week vacation as he nears the completion of his fourth year of residency focused on pediatrics and internal medicine. Their children (and Annette's godchildren - now mine as well!) are Zachi, 6, Malachi, 4, McKenzie, almost 2, and soon to be Alex, any day now. They are beautiful and well-behaved children. Spending time with Ebony and Alfred inevitably becomes a lesson in parenthood. They are well-informed on healthy child development and you can tell. Their day is all-family, all-the-time. And it is one of routine and structure for the children, in which they seem to thrive. Annette has always held up Ebony and Alfred as a model for our relationship and family (in much the same way I have held up my parents as an example).

Our general game plan is to have children of our own some time after we return from our trip. (I hesitate to say soon as who knows what this year will bring). Ebony and Alfred have very much built their lives around faith and family. And they don't seem to miss much what seems to me to have been sacrificed - social life, travel, adventure -- well, perhaps raising children is one of the greatest adventures any of us embark upon. But I have a feeling there is actually very little sacrifice. After only a few days with them, it is clear they are living lives committed to God's work - decreasing suffering on the planet and standing up for the little guy. It just takes place in parent meetings, in their church community, with their suburban neighbors and in the hospital, not the picket lines or some non-profit organization with a mighty mission.

We left Missouri to climb 5,000 feet over 12 hours to reach Longmont, Colorado. There we stayed with my good friend, Jake Shank's mom, Rose. And we got to spend some time with his two sisters, Marie and Casey. And it gave us a view of motherhood when the children grow up. And Rose is undoubtedly one of the best of them. She is enjoying her grown children phase of life in her new home, volunteering with several organizations, and traveling a bit of her own. She takes such pride in all of her children and reflects humbly on how she did raising them. "Children are the biggest source of both joy and heartache you will ever have," she says simply.